5 : Or Just ‘On edge’?
A few years ago, while still living in Somerset, I set off to Bradford-on-Avon to find the House of Inner Tranquillity – a small Buddhist community and retreat centre. “It’s up a driveway, off such-and-such Hill” I’d been told. I found a likely looking drive, drove up, no Buddhist Centre, no room to turn around – and started reversing back. A few moments later, I found myself in the following situation :
Car, and me, at a 45 degree angle to the drive with only the two driver-side wheels on the ground. Back passenger-side wheel spinning in space.
I had reversed onto a wall that started high back down at road level and then tapered off to meet the drive. Needed the AA to get me off.
I didn’t get to the House of Inner Tranquillity that day – but I did stay ‘tranquil’ for the two hours it took to get mobile again.
That situation, like many life situations – from ill health to money worries to having to talk to BT about just about anything – was potentially stressful. How we perceive, interpret and respond to the situation determines whether it is actually stressful.
Stress. Everybody’s talking about it. Research carried out by the International Stress Management Association UK indicates that more than half the UK workforce is suffering from stress and one in four takes time off as a result. Here are some of the symptoms of stress :
Physical (stress can be a factor if not the sole cause): Headaches/migraine; aching muscles/tension/backache; high blood pressure; heart problems/circulatory problems; diabetes; asthma; indigestion/ulcers/colitis; skin rashes/skin disorders
Mental : Decreased attention span & concentration; easily distracted; memory deteriorates; more mistakes made; decreased motivation
Emotional : Reduced ability to feel good & to switch off worries and anxieties;
increase in anxiety, sensitivity, defensiveness and hostility; increase in emotional outbursts; depression; sense of powerlessness; decrease in confidence and self-esteem
Behavioural : Interests and enthusiasms decrease; drug abuse increases - alcohol, caffeine, nicotine, sugar, prescribed or illegal drugs; sleep patterns disrupted; comfort eating
That’s the bad news.
The good news is that there are a whole range of things you can do to take control of your life and your mind and your body in order to decrease stress and increase well-being and I’ll be encouraging you to explore and experiment with them in the next few newsletters.
Let’s start with something really simple. Breathing. You’re doing it anyway – you might as well do it well, which means breathing right down into the abdomen rather than just shallow breathing into the top of the lungs.( Put a hand on your abdomen and, as you inhale deeply, expand your stomach as though it were being filled by a balloon. Many people do the opposite and pull their stomach in as they breath in). Deep breathing just on its own, is a very simple yet very effective method of stress reduction - and it’s also a core component of many other relaxation techniques.
As you do the following exercise, pause comfortably at the end of each out breath until you feel ready to take the next deep breath. You can achieve even greater relaxation if you close your eyes during deep breathing and let your mind focus on a restful scene or a word like “calm” or anything else which gives you a feeling of mental quiet.
Exercise :
- Breathe in deeply, letting your stomach expand until your lungs are filled.
- Now, pause for a moment and then breath out until you have emptied your lungs. Pause for a moment.
- Now take another deep breath in, filling your lungs from the bottom.
- Hold a moment… let the air flow out, focusing your mind on restful thoughts.
- Keeping the pace regular, again breathe in more deeply… hold a moment… and now let the air out, feeling more and more relaxed.
- Take another breath in… hold for a moment… now gently breathe out, letting the tension escape from your body.
- Once more, breathe in… pause a moment… now exhale, feeling deep relaxation.
Do this whenever you feel yourself getting wound up or tense.
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