What Coaching Is - And Isn't.
Coaching is a process - we are jointly responsible for making that process work. The content is yours - it can be anything from a career change to relationship difficulties to confidence building.
One client initially wanted to improve her tennis game - and moved on to transforming her business.
Another needed support to progress her career in academia - and then also created new, positive results in her relationship with her ex-partner with respect to maintenance and access arrangements.
- A totally accepting and non-judgemental presence
- Unwavering support and an enabling structure
- Tough love to encourage you to let go of beliefs, doubts and fears that don't serve you
- Powerful questions that help you to clarify your thinking and which trigger new insights, ideas, perspectives and behaviours
- Knowledge, skills and experience
- Tools, techniques, and signposts to other resources
- 100% confidentiality
You can expect me to :
- Insist that you take yourself seriously, put yourself first when necessary and believe in the importance of your hopes and dreams
- Challenge you if you 'play small' or let your 'internal saboteur' make your decisions or inform your actions
- Listen - not just to what you are saying but to how you are saying it. To both the words and the feelings behind the words. To listen for what rings true and what doesn't; for where things flow and where there is resistance. To listen for where you come alive and where the energy drops.
For more examples of why people have chosen to have coaching, click here.
To find out how their lives changed when they did, click here.
You may feel that you get much of the above from your close friends or partner.
I don't have a partner at the moment but I do have a wonderful and wise daughter and some amazing friends, all of them good listeners with much to offer. Even so, when people are personally involved with us it’s difficult for them not to have any ‘agenda' of their own. They may be protective - not wanting you to 'expect too much' and be disappointed. They may worry that if you change the relationship will change - and they will have to change too. They may have a tendency to 'help' by giving 'good advice' rather than having the skills, and patience, to help you work out for yourself what is best for you. They may want to 'fix' you as quickly as possible rather than using whatever is feeling 'not OK' as a source of information and learning about yourself.
There may also be aspects of yourself that you feel uncomfortable sharing even with (or sometimes especially with) those closest to you, whereas there is no part of yourself that you cannot bring to your coaching – if you want to and when it feels safe enough to do so.
Nor can we always expect our friends to be there for us week in week out. They probably have busy lives too. And sometimes they will want to talk about themselves not you - which is a perfectly reasonable thing for a friend to want to do.
Whereas as your coach I'm 100% focused on you - all the time. I have no preconceptions about what is best for you, how you should live or what you should do. I believe that the only person that can make those decisions is you.
What is the difference between coaching and counselling/therapy?
According to the International Coach Federation:
Coaching is a profession that supports personal and professional growth and development. It is forward moving and future focused. The emphasis is on action, accountability and follow through. Therapy, on the other hand, deals with healing pain and dysfunction where the focus is often on resolving difficulties arising from the past which hamper an individual's emotional functioning in the present.
However, in my experience, some clients choose to come into coaching for exactly the same reasons that others may decide to have counselling/therapy. We all have a ‘history’ and we all have wounds which may negatively impact our confidence, our perception of what is possible for us and our willingness to take action/initiate change. More ...
