6 : A Breath at a Time
Question 1 : Did you try the deep breathing activity in the last Newsletter?
Question 2 : If so, did it help? How did it help? What difference did it make?
Question 3 : If you didn’t try it, was it because you aren’t stressed?
Question 4 : If you didn’t try it, and you are stressed, why didn’t you try it?
Feeling stressed yet by being bombarded with questions?!
(Oops, sorry, that’s another one). But feeling bombarded, overloaded, pulled in many directions and finding it hard to keep your head above the water are both causes and symptoms of stress.
In the previous newsletter I outlined a simple breathing exercise that can be used in ‘emergencies’. This time I’d like to continue with the ‘breath’ theme and talk about what, in my experience, is one of the most powerful and effective methods of protecting ourselves from stress and of increasing well-being – Mindfulness of Breathing Meditation.
I’ve heard many assumptions/beliefs expressed about meditation
eg
- It’ something to do with religion
- It means being able to stop thinking/having an empty mind
- It’s only ‘working’ if you feel peaceful and relaxed while doing it
- It makes you ‘spaced out’ so that you don’t function effectively in the world anymore
- It’s about getting ‘enlightened’ (whatever that means)
Mindfulness Meditation comes from the Buddhist tradition. Buddhists have been meditating for over 2000 years and Buddhists teach meditation well. But you don’t have to be a Buddhist and you don’t have to ‘believe’ anything. (In fact, one of the things the Buddha said was "Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who said it .... unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense")
Mindfulness of Breathing is a technique for calming and settling the mind. It is also a technique for raising your awareness of when your mind is not settled. As you become more aware, instead of being 'on automatic', you will be more in control of your mind instead of being controlled by it. You will become freer from the ‘knee jerk’ reactivity which arises out of fear, anger, confusion and stress and develop more clarity, insight, awareness and peace of mind.
Definitely a powerful stress management approach.
An analogy that is often used to describe how we are not in control of our mind is that of trying to train a puppy. You take it out to the nearest park or open space, say ‘”sit”, and for a few moments it does – then an interesting sight or smell catches its attention and off it hurtles. You call it back, it comes, sits for a few moments – then shoots off again in another direction.
Try this :
Sit comfortably and close your eyes.
Breathe in and out gently and naturally.
Gently, without ‘trying’ or ‘concentrating’, bring your attention to your breath (either underneath the nostrils on the upper lip or at the tip of the nose - wherever you can feel it most clearly).
Just notice the flow of breath as it enters and leaves your body at the nostrils.
At some point you will almost certainly notice that your mind has drifted (the puppy has run off!).
As soon as you notice this gently bring your attention back to the breath.
At some point you will etc etc
You have just done a short Mindfulness of Breathing meditation.
That’s it. It’s that simple. Nothing esoteric. No incense, statues or lotus position required.
NB The whole process is meditation. Not just when you were able to keep your focus on the breath. People can meditate for years and still find their minds are galloping off all over the place sometimes. When you are focused on the breath you are mindful of the breath and it is calming for the mind. When you suddenly 'wake up' and realise that you have been 'lost in thought' that is a moment of mindfulness too. Every time that happens is a moment of awareness. Of being aware of what is/was happening in your mind. As you 'practice' in your formal sitting sessions you will find that you also become more and more aware as you go through your normal daily life - and thus less and less at the mercy of the chaotic aspects of the mind.
There is a saying – “Freedom lies in the gap between stimulus and response”. Mindfulness helps you to create that gap. It helps to access a ‘pause’ where you can choose a response that is different, more useful, than your normal knee-jerk reactive response.
Request
One of the things coaches do is encourage their clients to take action – and one way they do this is to make Requests.
Here’s a Request.
For just five days (maybe Monday to Friday) get up 15 minutes earlier than usual.
- Find somewhere where you can sit without being interrupted (an upright chair is fine).
- Sit with an erect but relaxed posture & close your eyes.
- Take several deep breaths to help you be aware of the sensation of breathing then allow your breath to flow in its normal, ever changing manner.
- Choose to pay attention to your breath either at the tip/rims of your nostrils or at the area between your nostrils and upper lip or in your chest or abdomen, wherever the sensations are the clearest. Once you make a choice, stick with it throughout the period of meditation.
- Continue to keep your awareness focused on the sensations of the breath flowing in and flowing out. If watching the breath at the tip of your nose, notice the sensations in this area of your body as you inhale and as you exhale. If watching the breath at your chest or abdomen, notice the rising and falling.
- Just try to follow one in-breath as clearly as you can, and then one out-breath. Don’t get overly ambitious and expect yourself to follow more than one breath. Expecting to be mindful for more than one breath sets you up for discouragement. Expecting to follow one breath helps train you to stay present with each moment of your experience.
- When your attention wanders away from the breath and you notice that, appreciate that moment of noticing, of waking up and being mindful. Then gently return your attention to the breath and continue to follow it.
Many of you are in the south-west and may know of the Bristol Cancer Centre and Dr Rosie Daniels who used to be the Director. In her ‘Health Creation Programme’ Manual she says “The single best thing you can do to revolutionise your health is to start meditating” – which is why I am so strongly recommending it to you. Because it’s not just your physical health that will benefit – it’s also your emotional and mental and ‘spiritual’ (I always have to put that in quotes because I’m not quite sure what it means!) health.
If at the end of the 5 days you feel you would like to explore this further, here are some resources to help you.
Retreat Centres
I don’t think it’s really possible to learn to meditate from a book (and certainly not just from a newsletter). For those of you who can get to Devon easily, Gaia House does excellent retreats, including weekend beginner’s retreats which are gentle – and the food is great! This is the only retreat centre I have personal experience of.
Web sites
There are hundreds.
This article gives a good overview of Mindfulness Meditation.
Access to Insight is very comprehensive if you are interested in the broader context of Buddhism rather than just meditation.
Stephen Batchelor’s website (he describes himself as a secular/agnostic Buddhist – which is also how I would describe myself) is a good place to start if you are interested in the psychology and/or philosophy and/or ethics of Buddhism but not Buddhism as ‘a religion’.
And if you enjoy listening to talks (free and downloadable) the Dharmaseed site is a fantastic resource with hundreds if not thousands of talks by contemporary (mainly Western) meditation teachers. I would recommend Rob Burbea (teacher in residence at Gaia House), Sylvia Boornstein, Anna Douglas, Carol Wilson Tara Brach, Jack Kornfield - and many others. Choose 'Teachers' or 'Talks' and start exploring.
Here are links to just a few of my favourites:
‘Am I Free to Enquire?’ by Rob Burbea. To help you not get caught up in thinking there is ‘one right way’ to meditate and worrying about whether you are ‘getting it right’ etc.
‘Liberation From The Inner Critic’ by Christina Feldman. “Self judgment is deeply painful and suffocates the capacity for kindness and freedom. It can also be understood and released.”
‘The Foundations of Mindfulness: Why we Practice ‘ by Sylvia Boornstein
Books
I claim nothing for these books other than that they are ones I have enjoyed/found useful. They all have a Buddhist orientation and although I am not ‘a Buddhist’ I have found much of the philosophy and the ‘science of how the mind works’ extremely useful.
1. 'Mindfulness in Plain English' by Henepola Gunaratan - an excellent introduction to Mindfulness which I wish I had found years ago.
2. Breath by Breath – by Larry Rosenberg.
The above two are my favourite mindfulness books because very clear.
3. 'A Path With Heart' by Jack Kornfield. “A Guide Through the Perils & Promises of Spiritual Life". One of my favourite books.
4. 'The Feeling Buddha by David Brazier'. “A Buddhist Psychology of Character, Adversity & Passion”
5. 'This Side of Nirvana' by Sara Jenkins. “Memoirs of a Spiritually Challenged Buddhist”
6. 'Coming to our Senses : Healing Ourselves & the World with Mindfulness' by Jon Kabat-Zinn
Please contact me if you would like more information.
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