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The Squad

Goalkeeper | Brad Hardy


Brad has established himself as our number 1. With excellent shot stopping and long kicking, Brad is improving all the time. Has a gammy finger that only his bird enjoys looking at.
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Goalkeeper | Sam Haltam


In his 2nd and probably last season with us. Sam challenged Brad for the No. 1 slot last season and there is not much to pick between the two. Is actually proud to support Coventry City.
Goalkeeper | Johhny Smith


Goalkeeper who arrived in the summer. General consensus is that he thinks he is better than he actually is. Played for Man Utd, Real Madrid and Hull before settling on RAF Lossie.
Defender/Midfielder | Lee Burke
Lee Burke

A machine. Would run through the proverbial brick wall for the team. Often seen bandaged up but always puts in a shift. Equally comfortable at the back or in midfield. Now one of the longest serving members of the team. Smokes. A lot.
Defender | James Castille


Player of the Year last season. Says it all really. Useless with letting you know his whereabouts though.
Defender | Matty Andrews
Matty Andrews

Big Guns Andrews, Another long serving member of the team. Member being the key word. Also does a lot to help out behind the scenes.
Defender | Jimmy Gavin


Weegie. Likes to talk. Lots. Probably oldest player in squad. Fond of name-dropping in his stories. Has made a difference since joining us though, with a number of impressive displays.
Defender | Iain Munro


Now in his 2nd season of promising to lose weight with us. Solid full back when in the mood and not hungover. One of many who fancies a gig up front. One of many who is unlikely to get that gig.
Defender | Neil Aitken


Recently joined the team. Fit and strong full back who looks like he will have a big part to play this season. Wears terrible shoes.
Defender | Andy Morgan


Another who has recently arrived at Lossiemouth. Hard working full-back with pace to burn. Is not Irish. Unlucky not to get signed by Lossie HL for this season. A good signing for us. Just to confirm, he is not Irish, he is from Stirling. Not Irish.
Defender | Carl Cheeseman


Been here for years. Dependable centre-half who reckons he is in his late 20's. Everyone else is having none of it. Good passer of the ball out of defence.
Midfielder | Neil Sinclair


Sinky came in from Islavale half way through last season as player/Asst manager. Great experience and knowledge of the local Leagues. Passionate on and off the pitch, he gives opponents no time on the ball. Another who reckons he is only 20 something.
Midfielder | Dale Smith


Great left peg. Now realising that his right foot is there for more than standing on. Has a wicked delivery from set pieces.
Midfielder | Chris Oliver


Olly joined us last season and has great enthusiasm when not hungover. Good feet and aggressive in the tackle. Fond of doing or saying something daft.
Midfielder | Tommy Lockhart


Obsessed with fitness. First season in a while due to injuries. Played at a decent level before. If he stays injury free Tommy will be a great asset to the team.
Midfielder | Tom Davis
Tom Davis

Now back playing again after a long lay off. Ready to make up for lost time. Direct wide player with a trick or two up his sleeve. Makes a lovely Latte too.
Midfielder/Forward | Tam Hearns


Sounds like a 13 year old weegie. Quick player who is a threat whether playing out wide or up top. Should score more goals really. Another who does a lot behind the scenes.
Midfielder | Paddy Jack
Paddy Jack

El Capitano hails fae Fife, misses his 'neeburs'. A victim of his ability to play anywhere, not really pinning down one position as his own. Great enthusiasm on and off the pitch.
Midfielder/Forward | Craig Downey


Body beautiful. Likes to walk about with his top off. New to the team and has made an immediate impact with strong displays on the right.
Midfielder | Lee Gemmel


Young midfielder who can't decide if he is Scottish or English. Talented wide player who can beat defenders for fun when in the mood.
Midfielder | Chris Poole


Pooly is now in his 2nd season here. Keen and very committed, he loves to run at defenders. Another who fancies a go up front.
Midfielder | Craig Patullo


Spud is a real driving force in the middle of the park. Hates losing, whether a game or a tackle. Had a spell in the Highland League last season. Almost guaranteed a game because of his love of all things tangerine.
Midfielder | Shaun Seaman
Shaun Seaman

Missed most of last season through injury and work commitments. Been here for years and doubles up playing with Secretary duties. Isn't going to appear on Mastermind.
Midfielder | Chris Alcock
Chris Alcock

Aggresive midfielder. Spends a lot of his free time keeping things ticking over in the background. Currently always out injured.
Forward | Michael Bestford
Michael Bestford

Top scorer last season. Really should have scored more. Moans a lot, usually in a high pitched whine. Another who does a lot behind the scenes. Part of a great double act with Tintin. Which involves Tintin giving Besty pelters for 90 minutes.
Forward | Ian 'Frankie' Whittle


Came in from Burghead in the summer. Strong, powerful forward who knows where the goal is. Does anyone know why he is called Frankie?
Forward | Gary McNicol


Came in from Lossie Highland League in the summer. Likes to wear leather. Expect goals from Gaz this season.
Striker | Matt Smith


Hard working forward who doesn't give defenders a second on the ball. Good striker of the ball. More than likely related to Munro. Doubles up as Treasurer.
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