Golf Jimericks
There once was a Legend named Jim
With pride in his 11 kids he would brim
He created a golf trophy one day
For which his son’s will now play
So for one day at least “we’ll think of him”! (Jim’s own words)

Now Jim has passed, and can’t be here
As we play for that trophy with a tear
The Champ will receive it with grace
Display it in pride of place
And be ready to defend it next year.

There once was a Golfer called Pete
Who had a habit of squeezing his feet
Into golf shoes too small
That when he’d swing round he’d fall
And end up with shite on his seat!

There once was a golfer called Dave
On the course he had many a close shave
He would go for his shots
Whether feasible or not
And often be left in a rage.

There once was a golfer called Steve,
The pursuit of perfection he can’t leave
He fell foul to the Yips
Blamed it on his diet of fish and chips
And Doyley’s Belly Putter he did thieve.

There once was a golfer called Chris
Who’s putts from the left often miss
He would line them all up,
To drop into the cup,
But was shakey after being out on the piss.

There once was a golfer named Mikey
Who landed on more roads than the proverbial Pikey
When he drove off fourteen
He landed straight onto the tenth green
And putting on there was Dave Spikey! (Sorry Yarsy)

There once was a golfer called Phil
Not winning it was the bitterest pill
Many times he’d come close
To laying to rest the ghost
But lost it when putting downhill.

There once was a golfer called Mark
Who learned to play golf at Pinky Park
Whether walking or in Buggy
In sunshine or when muggy
He will always be tagged as a Shark

There once was a Golfer called Whitlow
Combining Golf with Sailing his ship now
He got very irate
Aiming for the fairway on eight
His ball “sailed” right into the lake though.

There once was a golfer called Andy
Following surgery he’s incredibly Bandy
He has gadgets and Gizmos
And all kind of techno
But putts best when tanked up on the Brandy

There once was a golfer called Yarsey
Who’s driver sometimes go really farsey
Only problem with it
Was too many shops to fit
Meant no practice and that made him Arsey.

There once was a Golfer called Gilly
He prefers to play golf when it’s chilly
Whilst others were cold,
Liam continued to stroll
As a painter he likes 2 coats, he’s not silly

And then there’s the golfer called Doyle,
Steve’s unbeaten record he did spoil,
If he misses a putt
He will swear, curse and tut
But on his golf game he continues to toil.

So the big day is almost upon us
Yes to win it would be such a bonus
But to take part is the aim
As it’s “only a game”
Despite that the pressure will destroy us.

Form guide and fat chances

Pete- will styal bring back those hovis barmy days of glory, with 20 on back 9 last year he could be a danger but has he overdone it on the bike. Sp- Nimble

Dave-he can now relax, enjoy the day, land the ball on the green like a butterfly onto a flower, oh but hes paired with Mark, 2 foot divots and dinky pork pies. Sp -Hollands

Steve- must have a sniff home course, all in the mind for Seve though, hes got a 75 degree back wedge he can open the face up on, when it all goes tripe on the 1st his cries can only be heared by dogs (quote by Phil). Sp -ribena

Chris- 2 time champ not got it goin in recent times on the day, has requested the starter from Mottram to see us off this year, driving key needs to be in range relies alot on gps
Sp -tom tom

Mike- in good form the 12 champ, putting may hinder his chance but knows how to play round styal, will decide game plan on day depends on what sort of hangover or sleep dep
Sp -ambos

Phil- well Ronnie did it! but Phil is more Corbett, more hybrid than crufts, has to win it before Matthew starts to pile pressure on him, needs the right group to focus Sp -aldi

Mark- the 5 time champ! one of the greats but as he nears 40 is he the new Seve, renound to take the tiger line but is it more tony the tiger now,
needs to get off to flyer on the day or it could end up him chasing the game again Sp- frosties

Congratulations to Phil Doyle on winning the Tournament and a Big well done to Dave for getting his name on the Official Trophy for the first time finishing top of the Family for 2011. Special mention to Phil Haney on a great effort and I am sure he reflects on 3 blobs on the last 3 as a missed opportunity to grab the glory. Always next year for the rest of us, hopefully all will be fit and able and ideally we can play on the Saturday and have a night away for a get-together afterwards, with a pressure off match on the Sunday..

Mark, big thanks for sorting out the day, all very organised. The course turned out to be a tough venue particularly around the greens, but it was very enjoyable all the same. Great to see Dad with us......he is on ebay now looking for a golf cart. He hasn’t been that fast for years.

The Handicap Committee were satisfied that all had the chance to win it on the day if the golf could have matched the dreams in the lead up! All 10 finished within an 8 point range so if we look back most were still in it past halfway.

Thanks to all who gave donations for prizes.
Well done all,

These pictures are brilliant - the one of mike is defo the best! Good Luck guys x