EXTRACTS FROM THE DIARY OF A LONDONER WHO MOVED TO THE HIGHLANDS

 

 

 

DEC 20^th

 

It’s started to snow. The first of the season and the first we’ve seen for years. The wife and I took out our hot toddies and sat on the porch watching the fluffy soft flakes drift gently down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It’s so beautiful and peaceful.

 

 

DEC 24^th

 

We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white, glistening snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight, every tree and bush is covered in a beautiful white mantle. I shovelled for the first time and loved it. I did both our driveway and the footpath. Later a snowplough came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with compacted snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved, I waved back, and shovelled it away again.

 

 

DEC 26^th

 

It snowed an additional 5 inches last night, and the temperature dropped to around -8 degrees. Several on our trees and bushes snapped through the weight of the snow. I shovelled our driveway again, shortly afterwards the snow plough came by and did his trick again. Much of the snow is brownish-grey.

 

 

JAN 1^st

 

Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush, which soon became ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tyres for both our cars. Fell on my arse on the driveway. One hundred pounds to a physio, but nothing was broken. More snow and ice expected.

 

 

JAN 5^th

 

Still cold. Sold the wife’s car and bought her a Land Rover to get her to work. She slid into a wall and did considerable damage to the right wing. Had another 8 inches of white shite last night. Both vehicles are covered in salt and iced up slush. More shovelling in store for now. The bastard snow plough came by twice today.

 

 

 

 

 

JAN 9^th

 

More fucking snow! Not a tree or bush on our property that has not been damaged. Power was off for most of the night. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a paraffin heater, which tipped up and nearly burnt the house down. I managed to put the flames out but suffered 2^nd degree burns to my hands. I lost all my eyelashes and eyebrows (car hit a fucking deer, on the way to casualty and was written off!)

 

 

 

JAN 13^th

 

Fucking bastard white shite keeps coming down. Have to put on all the clothes we own just to get to the post box. If I ever catch that arsehole that drives the snow plough, I’ll chew open his chest and rip out his heart with my teeth. I think he hides round the corner and waits for me to finish shovelling, and then he comes down the road at 100 mph and buries the driveway again.

 

JAN 17^th

 

16 more fucking inches of fucking snow, and fucking sleet, and fucking ice, and god knows what kind of white shite fell last night. I wounded that bastard of a snow plough driver with an ice-axe but he got away. Fucking car won’t start. I think I’m going snow blind. I can’t move my fucking toes. Haven’t seen the sun in weeks. More fucking snow forecast. Temperature -20 degrees. Fuck this I’m moving back to Clapham.