‘Hard to Bleed’……..From C.A.A.T……..
by Bernie Bell - 08:04 on 13 March 2025
Hard to Bleed
“Ever been to Great Malvern? You should. Two excellent indie bookshops, some equally good secondhand places, wells to fill thy water bottle, and lots of walks, for those who still can. Through train from That London, what’s stopping you?
One thing to be aware of is that although there are lots of great places to eat by day, the night time offer seems a little patchy. Ask Italian in Malvern should be top of your list of places to avoid. When I was in the maxillo-facial ward in Worcester last year I met a bloke who was being fed through a tube because he’d had to have an operation to remove a splinter of mussel shell from his throat after enjoying the seafood linguine at his grandson’s twenty first in Malvern Ask. You’d think this would be off-putting enough, but we ate there on Sunday night, and it was not good at all. It wasn’t helped by the fact that Malvern is essentially vertical, and disabled access to the restaurant was not great. But, we were only in Ask because we needed to eat before going to the theatre to see Milton Jones.
Blue Badge parking is a wonderful thing. It meant we could park outside the restaurant, and then walk down Church Street to the venue. It’s a five minute walk, very very much downhill. The plan was that after the show (excellent, BTW) Hilary would climb back to the car, and drive it down to pick me up.
That short downhill walk was really hard for me. My legs turned to jelly, proper pork pie jelly. I was struggling to catch my breath. Hilary was pretty much holding me up. I was a wreck. When we got there, I was on the point of collapse. I couldn’t really access the seats; too many stairs, too narrow for a fat lad with bilateral nephrostomies. Thing is, I wasn’t this ill when Hilary booked the seats (a birthday treat, thank you, postal orders welcome), or she would have specified disabled seating. It looked like we were going to have to go home, until the Theatre management kindly found us two disabled places. Something had gone wrong in a short period of time.
On Monday morning, I found out what. When you have nephrostomies, most of your urinary needs are met by thy bags, but you still wee out perhaps an egg cup full per day by the traditional route. On Monday morning, I pissed blood. Not a bit of blood in my urine, no. Just blood. Blood dripping all over the floor. Dark blood, the colour of Pepsi. The stupidity of it is that on my medical notes, it says ‘Hard to Bleed’, because my veins are fucked. These last few days, bleeding has been all too easy.
I had a telephone call scheduled with the oncologist that morning, who wasn’t panicked. He told me to bring a urine sample into my Chemo session, scheduled for 2.30 yesterday, Tuesday. I called the Chemotherapy helpline yesterday morning to tell them I was passing blood, and that this was a problem, because this is happening, almost certainly, as a side effect of cabazitaxel treatment. It’s very common (more than one in ten), as is breathlessness. So chemo didn’t happen; cabazitaxel is eye-wateringly expensive, and the pharmacy only make it up if they are sure you are OK for it. When I took my ‘urine’ sample into the MacMillan Renton Unit in Hereford, they couldn’t test it for infection, because it wasn’t urine at all - just blood.
So today, various stuff is happening, and I’m not panicking, except in one key regard, which is relevant to these postings. I need to finish The Breaking Wave. At the very least, I need a first draft, as unshitty as I can make it. There’s nothing like a health emergency to keep you in the chair, I find.
Thanks for reading Writing the Breaking Wave! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.
Writing the Breaking Wave is free today. But if you enjoyed this post, you can tell Writing the Breaking Wave that their writing is valuable by pledging a future subscription. You won't be charged unless they enable payments.”
IAN MARCHANT
MAR 12
************************************************************************
From C.A.A.T…….
“Dear Friend,
Zarah Sultana’s Arms Trade (Inquiry and Suspension) Bill is listed for a Second Reading in Parliament on Friday 14th March. Call on your MP to support the Bill!
The Bill makes provision for an inquiry to determine whether UK arms exported around the world have been used in violation of international law and to immediately suspend arms exports to states where it cannot be demonstrated that arms sold will not be used in violation of international law.
The UK’s arms export system is rotten to its core.
Last month former UK diplomat and policy adviser to the Foreign Office Mark Smith published testimony stating that he saw illegality and complicity with war crimes when he was lead adviser on arms sales policy. According to Smith, Ministers and senior officials protected arms deals for weapons used in horrific crimes in Gaza and Yemen.
While the situation could not be more dire and urgent, because the Bill is listed to be heard 6th on Friday, it likely won’t be debated at all.
This government is trying to evade accountability and scrutiny for the devastating impact of UK arms exports. Urge your MP to take action!
email your MP.... https://caat.org.uk/new-action-call-on-your-mp-to-support-the-arms-trade-bill/
In solidarity,
Katie Fallon
Advocacy Manager, Campaign Against Arms Trade
Add your comment
