The 2025 Season is upon us

The 2025 season is upon us and we welcome our new Captain Aidan Barber. Aidan is the older brother of our fellow member Alan.

Whilst Aidan may not be the better golfer, he certainly claims to be the most intelligent brother, something which may not be hard as younger brother Alan, who was educated at Cramlington’s finest educational establishment Hillcrest, has now become a professional window licker.

As a long serving member it’s great to see Aidan awarded the honour of captaincy, having given us members so many fond memories over the years.

A favourite of mine came on a weekend away in Harrogate, where Aidan thought he’d found his long lost twin brother.

Striking a canny resemblance, there was no doubt in Aidan’s mind this mirror image of a man had to be his twin. Keen to rekindle those lost years Aidan took him out for a slap up meal and pint in Harrogate's finest eatery….Wetherspoons.

As the two sat getting to know each other, Aidan was left heartbroken as it turned out the man he thought was his long lost twin was none other than Harrogate’s local tramp.

A few beers later and Aidan was quickly over his heartbreak and back to boring the shit out of his fellow members with his horrendous golf and ridiculously slow play!

Striking a canny resemblance of a young Alan Carr, Aidan was always destined to be a star!

Although his short lived career as a member of the boy band ‘Wrong direction’ (ironically the same is often said about his golf) came to an abrupt end after being papped in a compromising position with the bands manager.

With Aidan being unable to explain why he was caught in a cupboard with his manager (whose pants were around his ankles!!!) the band were forced to kick him out.

A fellow band member was quoted at the time saying “that explains how the ugly b*stard made the group in the first place”.

Aidan has never given up on his music career and can often be found in the Burton House performing his Elton John tribute.

Those that know Aidan know how much of a stickler for the rules he is. He can often be found reading up on these on the way to a venue.

Aidan is possibly the tightest rich man we all know. So much so he even takes his diving gear with him when playing golf. Often finding himself in the drink, due to his inability to hit a straight ball, Aidan will not rest until he’s found his Donnay special!

Having spoken with his better half Nicola (yes he’s definitely punching), Aidan is said to be well pleased with himself given this is the first time he’s been picked for anything.

Admittedly the above picture was an old one. We all know Aidan no longer wears glasses after a hugely successful trip to Turkey!

BAH!! TURKEY EYES

I guess all that’s left to say is let’s all get behind our captain and wish him the very best of luck for the coming year! Brace yourselves lads this could be a slow one.

The new Season is upon us

Here’s away Boys

Our 2024 season starts off with the customary Captain vs Vice Matchplay game

Teams are selected, tee times assigned and hopefully rain will hold off for our game at the wonderful Dunstanburgh Castle Golf Club

As always, enjoy your game , pickup if you cannot score and lets get on it back in the bay afterwards.

That’s all for now…

Well perhaps not !

Recent custom dictates that we give an insight into this years Captain, Andy Cunningham.

So lets have a look at Andy

Most people know Andy as great golfer of course

Those in the know understand that this is just one of his talents

Andy is also known as a champion Sleeper, nodding them in at every bar and restaurant he attends

As we know Andy always has a partner in crime alongside him

He has even taken to be his apprentice in the Sleep game

Of course Andys sporting prowess didn’t start with Golf

He was a keen footballer in his younger days

Here we see him being presented “The young Superstar of 1973” by his (and lets face it ours aswell) hero

His mam even used her favourite mixing bowl for his special haircut

A career in the leagues beckoned and haircuts became his form of expression

(We all get the irony in that of course)

He even claims to have invented the “Beans on Toast” look popular in the late 80’s

Unfortunately Andy ate too many of the Beans and it caused a changed in shape and hair colour

He was indeed a top football influencer back in the day

Here we see him providing the influence for Eric Cantona’s Kung fu kick with a shocking challenge leading to him being banned for an extended time

He used his time out to travel and meet his footballing heroes

After football a family life started

Andy settled down with the love of his life and raised 2 lovely boys

But a dark secret was burning inside

A secret only one friend shared….

But before we share that

We must recognise that in this day and age the golf society has to move with the times

Inclusivity is the way of the world these days

We may have to rebrand as the LGBHGSTVQ society as we welcome our new captain

The time has come to announce that Andy has now dropped the D

(Which as you will see is ironic itself)

This years captain will be known by their preferred pronouns and new name

ANNY (soon to have a fanny) Cunningham

Please welcome our first lady members and be welcoming at Dunstanburgh to her/them

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Breaking News !!!

The magnificient Bayhorse team overcame the dogy handicaps of the Brockwell Seam yet again to retain the most prestigious trophy in golf !

A resounding score of 63.5 to 47.5 brings home the trophy

This of course follows on from last years victory and cements the BHGS as the top ballers in Cramlington !

Well done to all involved

SPECIAL MENTION .......

Of course this years victory was made all the sweeter by a special individual performance

Our very own Handicap Secretary Mr Graham Talbot only went and managed to get himself a HOLE IN ONE !! at the difficult 4th hole

Well done Graham, we are all watching out for the brutal cut to your handicap as a result

2023 Season starting now

As we head into the 2023 season, it is always good to get to know our new Captain a little better

We all know the stories of his sporting achievements in Golf history

Who can forget the infamous phonecall to his son Charlie

Relaying all the wins he achieved in a famous weekend of Golfing genius never to be surpassed

Or indeed witnessed???

But what else do we know about Dopey Dixon?

Let us explore his previous life…

Leaving school, Graham thought a modelling career beckoned, with his trademark catalogue pose he was bound to get lots of work…

He was trying out his poses at every opportunity

Sadly it didn’t work out so a change was due

A career on the stage was next for him, appearing as “The Gay Cowboy” at the Blyth Wallaw

As you can guess the show closed after only 1 matinee show

Feeling a little pre show nerves, he decided to have a drink to calm his nerves

As a one pint wonder

The results were disastrous….

On the plus side he did win the “Andy Cunningham Snooze alike” competition

He went from stage to screen, in a low budget version of Marvel’s Black Panther

Titled “Pink Prowler”, it catered for a specific cinemagoer

Its success lead him to create a special Gay version of a wizarding classic, with the “Hairy Botter” sequence of films

Life came back to earth with a thump when he was papped on holiday proving his fake tan skills did not extend beyond the neckline

At this point its worth a short interlude to reminisce about a former Captain who is Grahams best mate.

Only because it would be wrong of me not to publish this photo now I have it available !

But back to Graham..

He went on a downward spiral and descended into criminality

“Gangsta Graham” was known to show his weapon around the bars

But nobody believed him when questioned about the real size..

Graham thought his Gangsta cred would allow a film comeback with a remake of the classic GoodFellas

Unfortunately they got the film mixed up with the Pizza brand and ended up releasing the film as “FatFellas”

So we know a little more about him now

Let us hope he has more success as our new Captain

Here’s to a great year with Captain Graham

Good Luck Graham !

Further updates will appear here if and when Dopey Dixon gives me any

2022

Congratulations for a great year to our departing Captain Chaos

David Bell

So in keeping with recent tradition, let us take a closer look at Captain Chaos, aka Davy Bell

David was born in 1944 into war torn Britain, earliest photos of him here aged 5 and still unable to walk (A lifelong struggle started there)

Colourised photos show him in early school years modelling for the early editions of Kays Catalogue. Sales of massive purple collars show he was ahead of his time in fashion

Indeed Fashion seemed to elude him and his best pal Andy his whole life

Davy was often seen as a man around town.

His height (or lack of) allowed him to somewhat blend in with the young lads out for their first drinks in the Club

Look closely and you will see he looks to be in his mid 40’s here

Davy seemed set for Hollywood stardom in early life, seen here with his boyband “The Gaylords”

Sadly the band split and Davy went off having hits under a new name

But tragedy struck and the one hit wonder was forced into the lookalike circuit.

Freddie Mercury was reported to be preparing to sue him

Many people will remember Davys 50th birthday

It was somewhat overshadowed by the Queen opening Concordia on same day though

Modern day Davy has been known to take up many sports and pastimes

Seen here as a member of the Bay Horse 10 pin bowling team

You will of course note that Jeffrey is hiding a number 15 ball under his shirt

The ball has been there ever since !

An annual tradition for Davy is the trip to Spain

It is not really for a holiday

It is only time he gets a full wash each year

Seen below as he takes his tentative steps to bathtime

We end this expose of the Captain with a photo that most typically represents the Davy we all know and love - A Collosal Pervert !

Good Luck Captain Chaos !

Annual AGM 2022

AGM was held in the Bay on Sunday 2nd January at 1030am

Bacon butties were available and very nice indeed

Looking forward to another wonderful year of Golf playing to Daveys strengths,with venues like Whitley pitch and putt and the Lost World adventure golf in Tynemouth

2021 NEW FEATURE

HIGHLIGHTING BHGS MEMBERS

June allows us to focus on a recent winner on tour

None other than Graham Dixon (Boldon 2021)

Playing from a Handicap that Davy Bell would be embarrassed about , 57 year old Dixon overcame the rest of the field to surprise everyone

Graham has what many describe as a “unique” golf swing

He can hit a 9 iron any combination of yardage he wants .

Just never on command, sadly

Where Tiger has his famous stinger,

Graham has the infamous Ming- AHHHHH

As in every shot ends with a four letter word and angry shouts of “It worked on the range”

Not many people know that Graham actually won on the last York weekend tour

I say not many , what I really mean is just his young son !

Fancy telling the impressionable young ~~Ord~~ Dixon that Daddy is best golfer in the society ?

Graham works in I.T.

As you might guess, he would fit in well with the TV series, the I.T. Crowd

At least the department he works in told him it was I.T.

Really they gave him a badge with I.T. on

They really just gave him the initials meaning “I’m Thick”

He lives up to his reputation well, most often underneath his Blue Golf top, which is now medically grafted to his skin as he has worn it so often

But remember as we head into this weekend, he is the reigning Chump and...

April's highlight features the Bay's very own Hollywood Plumber Michael Wright

Lockdown has taken its toll on him unfortunately as he has not had chance to visit his spanish villa and has taken to false tan as backup

Michael's business card is seen below with his standard response to anyone wanting high quality plumbing work completed

See you next month ....

March featured the reigning Chump Simon Ord

Seen here receiving his trophy from John Tallack during socially distanced gathering in Bay horse car park (socially distanced by his belly equalling minimum 2m)